sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
