STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
