just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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