I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
