Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My liver just had a heart attack.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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