is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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