You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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