It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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