ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."