Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not