never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
