All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
