I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
