Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize