How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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