her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
