brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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