I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize