I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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