Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
