I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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