You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
