Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize