i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize