I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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