i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
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I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
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Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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