I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
