Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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