Having a random hookup so left but love u
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
