I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wear drunk well.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
