Betty ford says i'm here all night
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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