4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
