There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
