dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
