She said her name was "party"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
