Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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