I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
