there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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