She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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