i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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