this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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