I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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