You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
