Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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