you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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