Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
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i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
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Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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