some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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