Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
