he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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