Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
