i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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