Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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