I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
