So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
