would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
