in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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