in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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