yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
