so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
