some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
