I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
