I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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