how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
