you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
